“What have we done wrong to incur the wrath of God?” I asked neighbour Jan as we watched the swarm of locusts darken the sky. “The biblical plagues of Egypt are upon us,” responded Jan. “First came the flies, then the gnats, then the frogs. Our cattle and sheep are dying because of the drought. No sign of floods yet, but please, Lord, go soft on the hail!”
“What have we done wrong to incur the wrath of God?” I asked neighbour Jan as we watched the swarm of locusts darken the sky. “The biblical plagues of Egypt are upon us,” responded Jan. “First came the flies, then the gnats, then the frogs. Our cattle and sheep are dying because of the drought. No sign of floods yet, but please, Lord, go soft on the hail!”
“Perhaps we drink too much, blaspheme too much, covet our neighbour’s barns full of fodder too much? Surely it’s not too late to mend our ways and pray for forgiveness for transgressions past, or are we beyond redemption?” I asked. In a sombre mood we watched the locusts descend and devour what remained of our lucerne crop.
“It’s all your fault, Townie, practising witchcraft with your Inca rainstick instead of going to church and praying for rain on your knees like everyone around us.
Fanie and Koos, who are mere kilometres away, have had 100mm! I’m going to burn that f***ing rainstick of yours!” “Watch your language Jan, The Man upstairs is listening! That expletive of yours could cost us another week of drought!” Meteorologists
wax lyrical about El Niño and La Niña conditions, which they base their forecasts on. With all the science available at their computer fingertips why, then, do they get it so wrong so frequently? Because they’re in the same guessing game as the financial market boffins who never saw the worldwide recession coming. Or the politicians who predicted there would never be a black president in the US or in South Africa, or that the ANC would never be challenged in the elections.
But like the weather, things do change and there’s nothing we can do about it. Obama’s election promise of “Change? Yes we can!” might have been prophetic in retrospect, but more likely his voters were sick and tired of Bush’s bumbling. Like I’m sick and tired of being told that today we can expect 95% rain and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.
And then, for those of us who are sceptical that divine intervention can bring on change, sudden billowing clouds and a clap of thunder made what’s left of my hair stand up on end. When it was followed by pouring rain all day it was enough to turn me into an instant convert. Apologies, Weather Man, you’ve got it right for once – with a little help from up high, perhaps? – Derek Christopher |fw
